Things Black Women Think About

1. 11 Things Black Women Think About Every Damn Day

The mind of a black woman is a vast world filled with career goals, woke revelations, evasive love, beauty, marriage, awe, children, and spirit. Between the hustle and bustle of every day living, our minds are constantly racing with the past, present, and future.

Here is a brief examination into 11 ramblings that run through the mind of a black woman on a daily basis:

2. Our Edges

We think about whether they are laid or sweated out or thinning or Naomi Campbell gone. You may see them toothbrushed to perfection in pictures, or baby hair laid to the gawwds (insert mental image of FKA Twigs).

But laid edges, are almost like the magic trick of black hair care—in the morning you see them, by 12 noon, you don’t.

How your edges feel when you’ve had your weave in too long.

3. Fleeked Eyebrows

Let’s blame it on Peaches Monroe for making fleeky eyebrows a worldwide phenomenon and a daily obsession. And if you are out of the fleeked eyebrow club, we don’t trust you.

Black girls be like, she don’t even take care of her eyebrows how can I trust her to take care of our friendship?

It gets real.

4. A F*ck Boy

Whether it’s a f*ck boy you’re currently dealing with or a f*ck boy you used to f*ck with, there is always some f*ckboyness rumbling around a black girl’s mind. The past ones stay in your DMs (because it goes down) or randomly snap chatting you or texting you “wyd” with no conversation to follow. Or there’s the f*ck boy that you can’t stop f*cking with because there aren’t any better options. Sigh.

5. Pregnancy

For colored girls who dreamed of planned b when pull out wasn’t enough.

But seriously, how many times have you texted your friend like:

“My left breast feels heavier than my right, am I pregnant?”

“My period is two hours, 3 minutes, and 52 seconds late, am I pregnant?”

Pregnancy seems like this thing you’re always trying to avoid, or actively trying to achieve and each side of the coin brings unbelievable stress.

6. A F*ck Boy

Whether it’s a f*ck boy you’re currently dealing with or a f*ck boy you used to f*ck with, there is always some f*ckboyness rumbling around a black girl’s mind. The past ones stay in your DMs (because it goes down) or randomly snap chatting you or texting you “wyd” with no conversation to follow. Or there’s the f*ck boy that you can’t stop f*cking with because there aren’t any better options. Sigh.

7. Beyonce

When you’re laying on your couch watching marathons of “Snapped” on Oxygen with a pint of ice-cream between your legs and an opened bottle of wine (no glass) on the floor, you think, I wonder what Beyonce is doing? Is she preparing to drop an album? Is she dancing for her life in the studio? Is she vacationing with Jay? Is she getting her lace front applied?

8. Sex Or Lack Of Sex

We may not talk about sex all day, but we’re definitely thinking about it. You know in the middle of the work day when your vagina gets a flashback of what happened last night? Whew.

Or, when you’re in the drought—for whatever reason: abstinence, virginity, or lack of options, and you feel like cobwebs are forming between your legs, and your vibrator just blew a fuse from overuse (true story), sex is on your mind.

9. How To Look Super Productive At Work, While Not Doing Sh*t

It’s Friday and you just don’t give a damn anymore. But you ran out of sick/vacation/personal days, so it’s in the office for you today. So what do you do? Fake it until you make it. Spend 30 minutes fussing with the copier, or sit in the bathroom on the toilet (with a liner!) for 15. Type feverishly on your keyboard like you’re getting work done but you’re caught up in a gchat convo with your best friend.

10. How Annoying Our Mothers Are On Facebook

You almost want to curse Mark Zuckerberg for opening it up to people not in college for this. Your mom improperly uses every emoji and acronym on Facebook and plasters that mess all over your wall.

This is Mom, remember me? Are you having a good day? LMAO ;)

Like, whet?

11. Our Spirit

Whether it’s blasting one gospel song before walking into work, reading your tiny devotional on the bus, doing a little yoga in the morning, or just whispering a Thank You God when something goes well, black women are always trying to find some way to connect back to the source and the reason for all of this.